Jan 26, 2012 / 1 note

Better Days

Last night I stayed up watching The Descendants online, through a SAG approved upload somebody was very kind to make. The biggest thing I came away from the movie with? My want to visit Hawaii deepened (my brother lives there) and my appreciation for the West Coast overall got stronger.

If you had told me in high school that I would be living in California by the time I hit 24- and that at said age, it would make my fourth year of working and living there I wouldn’t have believed you. You see in high school my world revolved around the East Coast and a deep dream to live in New York City and have a very fabulous Carrie Bradshaw inspired lifestyle. This all changed the day that fate cut me a different hand in the form of a postcard from the university I never knew existed before but the moment I saw it, I just knew I’d go there. And this particular university was on the West Coast.

Either way I could have chosen to go, I would have gone in a different direction. Literally. I’m originally from the Missouri in the Midwest which is smack dab in the middle of the United States so really the only logical directions to leave in are either left or right. Up or down. And with plenty of family and experience in the up and down areas, I wanted for something left or right.

In less than 3 weeks, I’ll be visiting New York for the first time to attend and cover Mercedes Benz Fashion Week 2012. 16 year old Heather has worked herself into a screaming fit and is frantically combing her favorite online stores for a new dress. The 24 year old version of me is a bit more restrained only because she’s got 15 million work related projects on her plate and taking a moment to scream with delight needs scheduling. Doesn’t mean I’m not excited though. I can’t wait to go and am currently clearing my head of any expectations I may have to avoid early disappointments. Though… how do you get disappointed at NYFW? You don’t!

This is an opportunity that is a diamond in the rough in so many ways for me. I may never get invited to attend an event like this again. Or I may become a recurring fixture there for years to come. There is absolutely no way of knowing which is what life is so good at doing. It’s all a huge gamble, of being in the right place at the right time, of fate and kismet and karma and luck and who you know and doing what you love and the rest will come. These are the things we use to describe moments that can’t be described. There is no true way to know just how to describe a moment in time within our lives like this but I will try:

It’s really fucking amazing!!!!!!!!!

There you have it. That’s how you describe an indescribable moment.

I don’t know what I might have been like had I not moved here. These are weird thoughts to have because when I think about all of the people I’ve met and loved and hated and encountered, I have no idea how I can imagine a world without the impact they made on me. I like to think that for all those lives we never reach, they are content to their own degree but always searching. I think we’re all always searching to see who we can stumble into and touch. It’s a life less lived otherwise. Sometimes I envision this little outline of myself walking around in different cities that I haven’t been to yet, waiting for me to come and fill it out so we can explore and see and meet new people.

There’s no real way of knowing what my personality might have been like in other places but I’m quite content with how it turned out in California. I’m much more laidback here than I was at home. They say that the eldest child of the family is the one who gets the most attention paid to and to some degree I can agree with that. But it’s different with every family. Yes, I was driven to push myself and do a lot and work hard to be a good role model and big sister and student but there were a lot of times where I felt incredibly forgotten about. And I was growing up too. That can’t be forgotten. I had mood swings and yelled a lot and went through a ton of clothing and music phases which all began happening right around when I was 13 and more or less wrapped up by 17 during which I watched different people begin the same phases I had just ended.

Watching The Descendants made me realize something about my life. I seriously cannot live anywhere where there is no water nearby again. By water, I mean the ocean. I am a city girl through and through but I love knowing that I can escape for the afternoon to the beach. I’ve also built up an intolerance for cold weather over the years too. Can’t go back to 5 below again, nope, nope, not happening. And I have a big love for big palm trees. They’re so majestic.

On a pontification note, where I live next is anyone’s guess. You all know that I love San Francisco quite deeply. The visit to New York may inspire a deep love too. I fear that potential love. I’m scared it might push the SF love away. I think that’s why I have delayed going for as long as I have actually. Oh the irony of this shiz- girl who likes to travel is afraid to travel because she doesn’t want City B to cancel out the love for City A. I think they’ll probably be different sorts of loves, logically speaking though. However, work wise, there is a weird seed of a thought attempting to sprout. There is a quiet thought I do have from time to time in which Ikindawantacar. And an even quieter one thatwantstomovetomalibutobeclosertotheocean.

I mean, what?

These are the better days getting better all the time.

From a tale of two coasts,

  1. howveryheather posted this