Posts tagged 30 day challenge

Giving up on the 30 day challenge 4 days deep because this list is getting ridiculous in both question topic and length and I’m bored already and also not too big on writing all about me, me, me! for 30 days straight.

My dad used to quote a scene from this movie (don’t remember the name of it but if you do, let me know because I really want to watch it) in which there was a man lost in an ocean trying desperately to swim to a nearby island and keep from drowning. While the island still looked far off, he pleaded with God saying that if he made it to the island he would attend church services for the rest of his life and do everything he could to be a religious man.

The closer and closer he got to the island, the more the prayers tapered off and the less binding the pleas got to be (from going to church every Sunday to once a month, then once a year, etc) but in a very humorous way until he was on the shore and said something like, “Um yeah, about that… thanks for helping me get here!”

I’m sure you were expecting me to write something different here and more “me centered” but for today you get this funny little movie scene about human nature.

*Note: MY VIEWS. Not on behalf of anyone or anywhere I work for. Just me.*

From a personal standpoint yes I do enjoy alcohol, with an endless amount of drinks I can cite as my favorites. I’ve had some memorable moments with the sauce, most of which took place in college, and have since tapered off considerably which is hardly surprising. Once upon a time, I also used to smoke pot. This always throws people for a loop. I didn’t make it a habit though, but pot was an excellent pain reliever during the time I had my wisdom teeth removed and for some of the summers when I was going through surgery when I had a cancer scare. I don’t do hard drugs, no thanks.

I guess my viewpoint here is that experience has been my teacher but I don’t try to create unnecessary experiences I don’t need. Or keep the experiences going on a continual loop with no end in sight either.

Happy in both my professional and personal life with a fantastic wardrobe.

I am notoriously awful when it comes to completing these but I will try my best to get this one done.

Day 01 – Your Current Relationship, if single discuss how single life is.

I like being single. I have a very different mindset when it comes to relationships than most people I know. I grew up with two parents who loved one another very much and have been great influences for my brothers and I. One thing they gave me from an early age was my independence. The ability to make my own choices and do them in the way that suited my personality and the way that I choose to do things. I cherish this. Being my own person and going my own way has made me confident in a lot of the choices in life I have made and I’m grateful for that.

I have never been in a long-term relationship, one that has lasted for over a year. Commitment, despite the fact that I grew up in a household filled with it, terrifies me. This may sound tremendously silly for anyone who is in a long-term relationship but I have a hard time believing someone will love me against all the odds and want to be with me for the rest of my life. I think the reason why commitment scares me is because I see it as a threat to my independence. I worry I will lose that clear sight I have of myself in favor of being with someone else. I also worry I will try to hurt the person I’m in the long-term relationship with for the sheer reason of being either bored or testing my limits to see how much I can get away with. That’s a terrible thing to write. But … and this is worse to write… I still worry I would do it.

I think a lot of my feelings all have to do with the fact that I haven’t met the right guy yet and I’m holding out until then in many ways. I don’t half-ass anything in my life and likewise with my friendships, career, and sense of self, this kind of relationship would be one I would commit to. I would and will be absolutely terrified to do so and that’s why the other person needs to be special. I am a strong girl. But I know this is one area of my life where I may be a different version of me and I’m not sure what she’ll be like. It will take someone who is truly my match to be able to work with me, someone who will still let me have my independence, someone who won’t let me test my limits just because I think I can, someone who will see me for me.

If I don’t end up with anyone in the end, I’ll be fine with that. My own company and I have been quite content with each other for a long time. But I will be sad to some degree, knowing that I have missed out on something that I don’t think anyone should not have.

Love.

HT