3/27 - the day I felt the first lump in my right breast.
4/10 - visit to the doctor to see what was going on and get referred on for an ultrasound/mammogram.
4/12 - thought I was having a heart attack and spent an hour in the ER at the local hospital. Turned out to be an anxiety attack.
4/15 - had my ultrasound and was cleared of any possible cancer (I have a few cysts, as it turns out). No mammogram needed due to my age and nothing in either breast requiring a closer look.
These are 20 days of 2014 I would rather not return to, but I feel like they warrant a log of sorts to ensure that I have a record of this on file.
Buzzfeed ran an article on abandoned malls in America and the mall from my childhood, Crestwood, is included on the list. The above picture is right outside of where the AMC Theater used to be. That empty store to the left hand side was where I bought my first pair of platform Sketchers.
Crestwood’s decline and eventual fall marked the end of an era for me. I know I’ve written on here before how I pretty much grew up in a department store and that particular store happened to be at Crestwood. As the years went on, I saw stores come and go and then keep on going. Watching from an escalator step I sat on going down, feeling like I was in my own personal version of Cheers where everyone knew my name.
I’ll never have any of that in my life again. Some of this is obvious change that comes with age. There will never again come a day where I will run with glee through rows of men’s suits. I’ll never lay on a model bed doing my homework. Some of it comes with the modern state of the world today and where I spend and what I don’t spend. I have never shopped like I did back then since - where I had so many bags the ties wore red rings deep into my wrists. I treated those rings like a badge of honor. And then some of it comes back to career ambitions and dreams which I didn’t know anything about at that age. You don’t realize as a child when you talk to coworkers of your father’s that working part-time in retail in their 30s is not where they want to be. I like to think they’re all in better jobs today.
Life is a slow erosion sometimes.
There are very few blogs I read on a regular basis and it kills me when people ask me what I read and I’m like, uh, does A Taste of General Mills count because that’s literally the only blog I read on the daily.
What I like about that blog is that its steeped in history, both past and present. You have your Pinterest worthy pictures included, but there is substance behind the post and no filler work. No repetitious list of “link love” and nothing that feels like a PR person was obviously behind the post, pushing to promote a product. And the tone! The tone is so grounded and doesn’t brag about itself despite having more than enough clout to do so. Truly my Midwestern roots are talking here, but I genuinely look forward to all of the emails I get from them letting me know there’s a new post live. Few sites provoke that kind of feeling within me and I know that for this one, it’s also partially because I’ve spent so much of my life engaging with the brand. But it’s nice to know that as times change, a brand’s voice will stay consistent and won’t lose its footing in the race to get some plum partnership ads or act flimsy in the face of looking relevant for all of five minutes. (cough, cough, Doritos and Lady Gaga at SXSW with that idiot hashtag, cough, cough)
Ahhh, this pencil dress with waterfall detail from ASOS inspires a Hallelujah chorus to go off all around me. I only have but few requirements in dresses when I buy them - length, jewel tones and/or black and white, versatility (day into night), cut to figure, and duration of wear. Also minimalism, as I don’t like to look like I spent too much time pulling a look together. Next paycheck, you’re getting ordered bb.
You ever get so busy with your day and life that you completely forget it’s the start of NYFW ME NEITHER.
(I’m actually pretty mortified about this. For me, this is the equivalent of forgetting about the Oscars or the VSFS. These are holidays to me. But in my defense, this whole morning was a nonstop blogging and tweeting race and I spent the greater part of the afternoon signing and writing up all these papers for an interview I have tomorrow. Not job related. Still important and exciting though. But I ask myself… where did I go wrong when I still couldn’t remember the most very important of all the February dates?)
Today is payday. And tomorrow is rent and student loan payment day.
Okay. So maybe it’s the end of days for me shopping wise, but I am so completely underwhelmed by almost every look in the Loft Spring 2014 Lookbook that I just don’t know. The above look gets a B in my book but only because all of that can be worn separately and not together and be okay. All of the other looks in the lookbook are all the same patterns and variations of things Loft formerly did better in previous years.
My go-to summertime outfit has long been black shorts (cut almost to the knee), a white blouse (sometimes sleeveless, other times with sleeves), black flats or grey heels, red lipstick, red sunglasses, hair in ye olde bun, sometimes a ponytail, sometimes down but it drives me crazy when it’s down and makes me feel so much less on my game. Sometimes jewelry but that’s usually earrings. Keep it simple and timeless. My wild cards are all in my jacket game, especially this one magenta trench coat I have that I’m just as crazy about today as I was when I bought it 5 years ago. I suspect this year’s usual summertime looks will be making their annual classic comebacks.
Overheard at work: a discussion on a friend’s upcoming wedding and the cost of all the dresses for the bridal party and bride.
I’m not sure what makes me more frightened - how much everything is on just the dresses alone or that everyone is so passionate about the discussion with advice and tips on where to shop at and colors and materials and stuff. I just don’t get it. I’m trying to. I really am. But I could never spend that kind of money on clothes, wedding or not. (Thousands of dollars on one dress for one day? THOUSANDS?!) Sometimes, especially when it’s a younger age group at hand, I feel like weddings have a tendency to take on a prom night part deux vibe.
Idk. If you’ve got the money and feel comfortable about it, go and do what makes you happy. But the most accurate bridal thing I ever heard was in that episode of Sex and the City when Carrie got engaged to Aiden and told Miranda that she didn’t care about the date or finding a dress but she just wanted to take a nap and felt like a deadbeat bride. Me IRL if I was ever engaged.